A Long Way Til Morning
by Raina1
Summary: Darkness only conquers those unwilling or who are afraid of the light… and as you died in love with the light, it is the only place you can be.
1. A Long Way Til Morning

**Disclaimer**: _YuGiOh is the property of Kazuki Takahashi. _

**Author's Note**: _My take on what's probably an overused fanfiction cliché: the main character gets deathly ill. Told in second person point of view. I loved writing this, it came out exactly the way I wanted it to._

**Timeline**: _Between Battle City, after DOMA, and before Memory World and the Ceremonial Duel._

**Pairings**: _Yami Yugi/Yugi_

**Summary**: _Yami can't protect Yugi from everything._

**A Long Way Til Morning**

By Raina1

**

There once used to be a time that you believed, even if it was only for just a second, that it was possible to protect Yugi from everything that might harm him. Doma proved you wrong – horrifically, dreadfully, unspeakably – wrong. The worst danger he's in, you then believe, the only _true_ danger is from you. It's a nasty whisper you hear sometimes, echoing through the maze-like labyrinth of your darkened soul room. A wraith much like yourself, only without form, without substance, lurking down those cold corridors, taunting you from the very shadows you summon. Most of the time, you can ignore them. You push them back, hissing into their ears, they're wrong, they're wrong, you'll show them. Yugi is the strongest person I ever knew, he can beat _you_, he can beat _me_, he can beat _anything_, because I _believe_ in him. He believes in _me_. In me, you hear? Me!

But it's not about you, any of this. Not really. Because you're already dead. You've been dead for so long, it's no wonder you don't have any memories of your own. They eroded away to nothing in the broken pieces of the Millennium Puzzle as you waited for him to find you and put you back together again. You're just a shell of a person, really, barely a legitimate spirit. A Puzzle, a haunted house, there's no difference, not really. Only those spirits, those poltergeists, you think, are luckier than you are; their memories are what keep them earth-bound. They never wanted to leave or don't know they're dead. All it would take would be a desire to leave, or accepting they're dead, and that's usually enough for the doors of the afterlife to swing wide open for them.

But not you, oh not you. You're different. You're haunting a _person_, and you want to leave, and you already know, already accept, that you're dead. But those doors don't open for you. They're locked and there's no key. No key you can use… or maybe no key you want to use.

Yugi is that key, you realize just suddenly, one day, before Yugi is ever told he's the Chosen One. The boy's the key and both of you know it. Only you're too scared to say it, to think it, and he pretends not to know or not get it. He hides his quiet anxieties behind those wonderful smiles of his and you smile back too, indulgently, pretending along with him. This isn't meant to last, and both of you know it, so why not make the best of it, and keep everything sunshine and butterflies? Everything will fall into place, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it, let's just enjoy the now, and forget the next and after, huh?

You're stupid. It worse for you because you know better, because dammit, you've had the time to think over this shit and don't tell him. Tell him, hey aibou, the game is going to be over someday, and you're going to look back at me, look deep into your heart and I won't be there. That scares me so much and I hate it, I hate it that we won't always be together, how the fuck can you just smile like that? I'm dying here, and I'm already _dead_, so what is it doing to _you_? Aren't you scared? _I'm _scared! You have to be scared! I am you, half of you, why can't you tell me? Why won't you talk about it?

Why won't we talk about it?

You never do. And you hate it. Hate yourself, because hating him is not an option. You can't hate Yugi. You share his body, his space, his life, his mind, his heart and his soul.

You love him. God, how you love him.

You're watching him now, as he quietly works at his desk. Some math equation for school, you don't know, you don't bother with that aspect of his life. He's leaning over the paper, chewing on his lip, sometimes the eraser. His hand is thrust up into his hair, between his fingers, as he leans heavily on his elbow. A tiny constant frown wrinkles the space between his eyes, which are brighter, shinier, than they usually are today. An occasional sniff escapes him. They increase in frequency, and for a moment you think he might be upset. But he's not. His nose is just running. Abruptly he drops the pencil, and shoves back from the desk and leaves the room briefly. He comes back with a box of tissues, which he plucks next to his arm, before reassuming his original position. A light breath escapes his lips.

He keeps rubbing at his eye. First one, and then the other, before finally he keeps closing them for longer and longer periods of time. His palm moves from his hair to his forehead and he starts to rub that too. Another, heavier, breath escapes his lips, and he murmurs something unintelligible. The homework is abandoned again, and this time he doesn't go back to it. He uses a few tissues and then discards them. He looks so tired.

You say nothing. Yugi has days when he prefers to keep to himself and to not have to deal with you of every second of the hour. Despite his ever-growing repertoire of friends, Yugi is a solitary soul at heart. He grew up that way, it's what he's used to, and these days he no longer hates it. You know he dislikes it when you hover or snarl at imagined threats when there are plainly none to be had at that exact moment. He appreciates it, he does, you feel it, but today he's not in the mood. He's exhausted, so exhausted, and trouble is, you don't know why. You're with him even when neither of you even so much as link your minds and you watch what goes on around him. This was another nothing day at school for him.

He keeps rubbing at his neck, and his arms, and he moves with a barely veiled wince on his face. Mutters something about taking some "aspirin" and leaves the room. He's left the Puzzle on the desk by his homework so you don't know why he doesn't come back for several hours. You think you hear his mother call him for dinner.

When he returns that evening, he looks like he's sleep walking. Again, you say nothing, do nothing. Eyes closed, he moves through his room through touch, pulling off articles of clothing and discarding them in a small basket in the corner. He moves slowly, carefully, his pale face contorting when he has to bend, wincing when he pulls the buckle off his throat, and rubs it. Finally, in his boxers, he sits on the edge of his bed, rubbing his face, his eyes. He doesn't bother to dress for neither bed nor does he bother turning on the light. He usually reads or plays a quiet single person game, but this time he just pulls up the covers and sleeps. You don't know if he remembered to brush his teeth.

This is an odd break in his routine. He usually touches the Puzzle and sends, or says, a good night to you. He usually dresses for bed. He doesn't nearly stumble around in the dark with a dead expression on his face like the world ended and he forgot to tell the rest of the human race about it.

The next day, when he gets up to go to school, he shocks you by leaving the Puzzle at home. It's like it's not even there, as he heads out the door. You try calling out to him too late, a bit surprised, not really hurt. All right, you're a little hurt, but you'll bite. He's a teenage boy, despite his thoughtful ways he can screw up sometimes. If he lets you not be perfect, you have to accept the same from him too. After the crap you always put him through, a day of being forgotten isn't a big deal.

You're alarmed when he reenters the bedroom coughing. It's a little cough, but frequent enough so you know it's no mere clearing of the throat. He sits to do his homework, he gets his books out, and then just sits there, with his eyes closed, head slightly bowed. You reach out then, ask what's wrong, but he doesn't answer. His shoulders twitch spastically, gather in close, and he clenches his teeth together. He's cold. Even with that jacket on and the room temperature well above seventy, his skin breaks out in goose bumps. He sucks in air through his nose sharply and makes a tiny "Mmnn" noise, as if he's being disturbed in his sleep.

You project yourself out from the Puzzle and stand behind the boy. You place your hands on his shoulders and lean in close to his ear. You ask him what's the matter again. He shakes his head, mutters about "nothing" and allows his forehead to rest on the cool cover of his chemistry textbook. You knead his shoulders gently, and tell him to lie down. He turns his head to side and smiles faintly. He says he's already lying down. No, you counter with a gentle smile, you mean on the bed. He mutters that he knows that and the good humor leaves his voice and his face.

You ask again, quietly, and with some pleading. His eyes open and he looks up at you, so tired, so pale, but he smiles at you again. He teases that you worry too much, and you must, because he sees it in your face. You color and decide to ignore that, and repeat yourself. He obeys this time, coughing into the crook of his elbow.

He sleeps through dinner. He doesn't get up again, and finally just, again, curiously strips to only his boxers for sleep. He's still shivering, still rubbing at his extremities. At one point, when he wakes, he calls for his mother. She pokes her head in, sees him, and then approaches the bed. The concern is there in her face and her voice when she asks him if he's okay. I heard you coughing honey.

It's to her he admits he's not feeling well. She responds by reaching out and putting her palm on his forehead.

He's burning up. You have a fever, she says, lie back down. She leaves the room and comes back with a thermometer. She sticks it into his mouth and tells him to be quiet, like he's a little child again. Normally he protests this but this time he obeys without complaint. Yugi lets people take care of him when he can't do it himself. His grandfather pokes his head in and asks what's going on, why hasn't he seen Yugi all evening? He's sick, Yugi's mother says. Grandpa frowns and admits he has noticed Yugi has been awfully quiet lately and not eating. Yugi waves his hand and says he's fine, he's fine, stop worrying about me. His mother plucks the thermometer out and shakes her head. You have a fever of a hundred and one, she announces. Yugi groans and turns his head into the pillow. It's not the news he wants to hear. His coughs cover whatever argument he imagines to create about it.

Medicine is brought to him and a glass of water. He's ordered to stay in bed and to call if he needs anything. Aspirin is taken and the lights are extinguished.

The rest of the night passes and things only worsen from there. Yugi tosses and turns in his bed, moaning quietly. His coughs have become wetter, heavier, and almost constant. He props himself up and he still cannot sleep. His breathing is labored. Covers are kicked off, pulled back up, and kicked off again. He gets up a few times to stumble into the bathroom adjoined to his room to spit into the sink. You hover by the door, agonized. You want to help him and you can't. This kind of demon plaguing the boy isn't anything you can call on the Shadows to deal with. Still you cannot help but ask him if there's anything you can do, anything, please, just name it.

Yugi shakes his head over the sink his skinny arms have braced, looking almost sad for you. He can tell you mean it, you mean it so much, and he wishes you could help, because he sure would appreciate it. No, Yami, but thanks. Thanks.

Thanks, you think bitterly, watching with alarm as Yugi coughs and hacks up in the sink again. Thanks for nothing you mean, oh Yugi, if you only knew how much more I want to do for you than just stand here.

You gasp when Yugi falls to his knees, arms crossed over his chest, coughing so hard you can't believe he can stand it. He reaches up to wipe at his mouth and you see his eyes widen with terror, and see along with him, when he cries out for his mother what is on his hand.

It's blood.

Yugi is crying now, because he can longer hold back how much coughing like this hurts him. As he waits for his mother and grandfather to respond to his calls for help, he looks at you, his face strained, and sad, and pleading. He begs you, mind-to-mind, with every fiber of his being, to make it stop. Make the coughing stop, I can't breathe, I'm bleeding inside, help me, please, make it stop. It's irrational, because he's sick, and in pain, and not really coherent, but he means it, he _means_ it.

And you can't. There is nothing you can do. It kills you. You can do nothing but look back at him, your face showing every emotion you are feeling to him, and it's not a smart move, because Yugi is sick, he needs your support. He doesn't need to see how much this hurts you too.

You ask to switch, to take on the pain for him. It's all you can do for him, the only way you can help him.

No, he wheezes. I don't want you to suffer through me. I won't let you do it, and if you switch anyway, I won't forgive you.

That's what stops you. Yugi forgives everything, everyone. He forgave you for fucking _Doma_. It makes no sense. Yet it works. Risking Yugi's wrath, his contempt, freezes you.

You open and close your mouth helplessly, and watch as Yugi's mother appears and kneels at her ailing son's side. Grandpa arrives too, with the thermometer in his hand.

Mama, I'm bleeding, Yugi shows them his hand. I'm coughing up blood.

His mother caresses his face lovingly as Grandpa puts it in his mouth again and rests both hands on the boy's shoulders to help him stand, and keeps them there to steady him. Finally his mother takes the thing out, and she scares you when she gasps, and goes almost as pale as Yugi.

One hundred and four.

Something about that temperature panics them, including Yugi whose fever bright eyes widen. His erratic breathing increases and he starts to shake even more than he already has been.

Grandpa rushes from the bathroom and says he'll get the ice packs. Yugi's mother propels the boy back into the room, and bodily, forces him to sit on the bed. She calls over her shoulder after her father, absently, constantly brushing away the boy's hair away from his face. Yugi is completely out of it now, just keeps saying, it hurts, it hurts, between coughs. He even says your name a few times, and his mother ignores him, thinking it's the fever talking. He turns his head, looking around, and you realize he's looking for you. You appear beside the bed, unseen by the mother, but right where Yugi can see you. He calms somewhat. You lock gazes and his mind opens out for yours like a hand. He wants your presence and he wants you in his head with him. He's scared and he wants you.

You cannot refuse. You let your mind touch his and he smiles, almost blissfully. His fear subsides and he asks you to stay like that, just stay with him in his head, and you do. You will never leave him.

Yugi's mother forces him to lie down and his grandfather returns with the ice packs. He says he's running an ice bath and they should get him in it. Yugi shakes his head vigorously, but is quickly shushed. He whines when they seize him and force him to his feet. Don't take my boxers off, he keeps saying, which is silly, because he knows they won't. He murmurs to his grandpa, get my Puzzle, I want my Puzzle. His grandpa grabs the chain like it's a normal request and brings it along. You are touched by the gesture.

While grandpa gets him settled, as Yugi's teeth chatter his mother returns and informs them she's called for an ambulance. Is that necessary? Grandpa asks. You bet it is, is the reply. He needs a doctor because this isn't enough. I know a friend of mine had it.

When the EMTs show up and wrap Yugi in a blanket, you vanish into the Puzzle. Yugi puts it on and clings to it as he is led downstairs, and doesn't let go, even when the EMTs ask him to put it down. Grandpa elects to stay behind to field questions for his friends who will come and ask about him the next day. Yugi's mother goes on the ambulance with him. Yugi cuddles up against the woman's side and leans his head on her shoulder. You have never seen him so needy for her before. Yugi clings to her body for comfort as he clings to your presence inside of him. She kisses his face a few times, always stroking his hair, tucking it back behind his ears, whispering softly to him. You have never seen her behave so lovingly toward him before. But you think you should not be surprised. Yugi is her child and despite the distance the teen years have put between them, and her own aloof nature, the blow of this sickness wipes all of that clean again.

You envy them.

The trip seems to take years, during the transition from ambulance, to waiting room, to Yugi being rushed into the emergency room where nurses work to lower his body temperature by putting drugs in him and press more cold compresses against his body. The whole time, Yugi goes out of it, and then there is a soft tap on your soul room door. You answer it.

Yugi takes your hand and quietly leads you across the space separating your minds. He invites you inside his soul room without a word. He leads you to the bed and pulls you along with him. You are unsure, hesitant, because Yugi has never asked for this kind of intimacy before. He senses your reluctance, and smiles, like he always does. Tugs you down gently. It's okay. I want you here.

You smile back, small, still uncertain, but you do what he wants. You lie beside him, then you stiffen in surprise when he turns to you and pulls you close, his face nuzzled against your chest. You slowly wrap your arms around his smaller frame. This seems to be the right thing to do because he sighs and relaxes against your body. He says nothing, does nothing, when you reach up and start stroking his cheek with the back of your hand. You think he turns his head just so to brush his lips against your fingers, but you're not sure. You don't want to be sure. Instead you turn your face down into his crown and breathe him in. Together you both close your eyes.

Yugi murmurs something and touches your cheek too. He turns his head up and he's looking into your eyes again, and he's smiling again. You lean into his touch and smile back. He moves his thumb across your cheek, barely brushing your bottom lip, before he shuts his eyes again, and with another soft, content sigh, falls asleep in your arms. You kiss his forehead, letting your lips linger there, before closing your eyes and letting sleep take you as well.

Everything will be okay. Everything _is_ okay.


	2. Before the Dawn

**Author's Note**: _I didn't intend on writing a second part. But as it turns out this story isn't done with me yet. The style remains the same but this time speaking is denoted with "". Chapter title inspired by the title of an Evanescence song of the same name._

* * *

**Before the Dawn**

******

Fear. It's not a new concept to you, nor a stranger within the world in which you inhabit. Fear is what plays on the edges of your mind. It's the spark and spike of the adrenaline in your body (_his body, not mine, never mine_), as you draw a card. It's in the thrum of your heart (_his heart, not mine, never mine_) as it pounds against your chest and inside the sweat in the creases of your palms (_his palms, not mine, never mine_). Despite your arrogance, your confidence, there is still that one second before you turn over that trap card, or watch as your life points diminish from a blow dealt by your adversary. You think for a moment you might not make it… that maybe this time you've met your match and you're scared, scared, scared, and you shouldn't be. You shouldn't be… because you're learning. You're learning that there are far more frightening things in the world to be afraid of, that are _worth_ being afraid of. The fate of the world never so much matters to you less than meeting up against an enemy so small you cannot see it, yet is so strong it can weaken and topple even the strongest and most resilient of human beings.

Secretly, you are ashamed to admit it, but your deepest fear of your own weakness comes to fruition this night as you watch Yugi breathe through his mouth because he can't breathe through his nose. The dark circles under his eyes stand out against the pallor of his skin, his eyes at half-mast as he tries to answer the nurse's questions. They close briefly in dismay when he discovers he has to stay overnight for observation. He just wants to go home, go home so much, and they're not letting him, and he wants to cry again, because he's sick and his head hurts.

You offer to switch again, though you know he will say no. He does, and tiredly, in a mental tone he has never used on you before, orders you not to ask him again. His head hangs and rests in his hands. You are stunned… not so much by the tone, as by the way he feels when he says it. After having sought you out moments ago for comfort, this sudden rejection puzzles you. You remind yourself, he's sick, it's okay to be cranky when you're sick. He doesn't mean it.

But it still hurts. Yugi is your world… your be all and end all. Sometimes you think he's aware of that, and maybe right now he's thinking about it. You don't know. He's closed off from you now. His thoughts have retreated behind a mental shield you cannot penetrate. And you won't. In many ways, ways never to be spoken of, you are very aware who truly is in control of this relationship. The power, all of the power, lies with Yugi. There is nothing you can do if he decides to smash you into a million pieces if things go south. You are more dependent on him than he is on you.

You need him to get better. His mortality is your enemy.

"Go away. Please. I need… Please."

You retreat into the Puzzle. You've been overbearing again, without wanting to be, without _trying_ to be. You don't show your own pain, nor do you allow it to taint any part of your retreat. Yugi doesn't need this right now. He needs to get better, and if he feels he can fight his invisible enemies alone, then you have no right to stand in the way of that. Still, upon the steps of your mind, staring at the cold stone between your feet, you wonder.

Soon the quiet of his mind and body let you know he has fallen asleep. You emerge from the Puzzle and take in the situation. The dawn-tinted darkness spilling through the too wide windows of the hospital room whisper that morning will be in a few hours. The grayish light falls over the form of the slight boy lying on a small hospital bed. He frowns in his sleep, disturbed, and turns his head away from the encroaching light. Your gaze lingers briefly on the partly open blinds covering the window; you almost raise your hand to close them. You stop, smile faintly, and allow your fingers to close into a loose fist. That's how it is being a spirit after all.

Yet you wonder…

Whipping on the blinds, you focus on them, and command the shadows that always hover around waiting for your beck and call. The blinds swiftly shut with such force, they gently rock back and forth, lightly bumping in the window frame. You pan the room, making sure the sudden movement wasn't noticed.

It is. The rapping noise of the blinds startles Yugi awake and he sits up sharply. His alarm aggravates his cough and he hacks a few times into the cup of his hands before eyeing the now barely swinging blinds.

"Mou hitori no boku?"

You don't answer. Usually when you emerge from the Puzzle, Yugi can see you. But this time you don't let him see you and instead remain silent, watching as he looks through you, in sleepy confusion. It hurts to look at him… his complexion is pallid, stark white even in the darkness. He sighs when you don't answer him, though he waits long enough, prodding at your walls inquiringly. When he gets nothing, he gives up, and turns over away from the window.

He's upset. He thinks he's made you angry and he starts to sniffle. Realizing your mistake, you appear on the opposite side of the bed and kneel down so you are level with him. You softly speak his name so he opens his eyes.

Hot guilt stabs through you at the wet streaks running down his face, as he watches you through the darkness, smiling when your eyes lock. You smile back gently. "Hello aibou." You're a little surprised when he blushes – or it could be the flush from the fever, you don't know – and turns his face shyly into the pillow. Amused, you tilt your head to the side, and inquire in a teasing manner, and he begins to snicker, before snatching another glance at you. When he sees your perplexed reaction, he has to fight a coughing fit and laughter, shaking his head when you softly demand, "What is it that is so funny?"

"Nothing," he manages, still battling with his mirth and the congestion in his chest. Then he just smiles and gazes at you with such affection it's all you can do to avoid a transient flush yourself. Even sick as he is, looking as awful, and feeling as awful as he does, Yugi manages to bear it all with the same unwavering, iron resolve he does when he grips your elbow during a card battle.

"I'm sorry," he murmurs suddenly, his hand shifting across the mattress, fingers twitching toward you. Your hand slips over his and he smiles again faintly, briefly. Yugi is the only one you can touch and you are so glad. The warmth of his hand is like nothing else you've ever felt before – or can remember feeling.

You ask him sorry for what and he says for pushing you away. You shake your head and tell him: "There is no need to apologize, least of all to me. You owe me no such courtesy, aibou, don't even think of it."

"Yes, I do!" Yugi sits up some and shakes his head, his vehemence touching and so very strangely passionate. "You do everything for me and ask for nothing in return! It was wrong me to push you away when you were only trying to help."

"Aibou, you're ill. It's okay. People always say things they don't mean when they're sick."

Yugi smiles again. "Now you're just saying what my mother just told me."

"She's right."

Yugi's gaze lowers, and the smile vanishes. "But… people also say and do things they do mean, even if…if… they normally wouldn't do them." He snatches a quick glance at you, blushes again, and briefly in a ghost of a second, appears so miserable. It's so fleeting, weren't you watching him so closely, you would have missed it. Something lurks just there beneath the surface. It's part of that thing you both don't talk about… the thing hiding amongst the shadows of the sunshine and butterflies. It simmers just under the surface, its image distorted yet this is the closest you two come to it. He knows you've picked up on this and begins to back away. You let him… because you're still too afraid to move.

Suddenly he stops. Trembles. His eyes remain fastened on a space faraway from you, and a singular resolve lights behind his intense fear. It's so huge, so overwhelming you don't know what to do. Slowly he turns to you. His fingers touch the Puzzle he still wears and his hard gaze intrigues you.

"Your soul room. Now."

A bit perplexed, you nonetheless do as he commands, because how can you not when he looks and sounds like that? Yugi has made a decision about this thing and plans to address it in some way. You cannot apprehend his design of purpose – that he keeps hidden from you – yet you know somehow.

He finds you seated on a stair when he enters and approaches. He stands at the bottom of the stair and simply waits. Silently you stand and descend until you are standing right before one another. For a long time, neither of you speaks.

At length, Yugi begins, very softly. "If I were… to ask you about… would you answer me?"

You have the good grace to play dumb. "About what, aibou?"

Yugi seems to lose his nerve for a moment, then his small fists tighten at his sides and he gives an almost involuntary stamp of his foot. He struggles, starts and stops several times, and growls under his breath in frustration. "I don't know!" he moans. "It's hard to ask about something when you don't know what you're asking about!"

You reach in between the small space separating your bodies and rest your palm against his heart. "Ask me here. Tell me here."

Yugi stares at you wide eyed, but unerringly without hesitation. He reaches out to you, and with both hands lays them over your heart. His eyes slide closed, as do yours, and he sends his feelings through your shared connection. Tentatively you tap back before reaching across the link and opening your own heart. Yugi suddenly seizes forward with such ferocity and demand you temporarily waver. You forget yourself. It causes you to slip.

And that slip it is all Yugi needs in order to see. Both of your eyes fly open at the same time and for a long, unblinking moment, neither of you is able to move.

"You…"

You can barely stand, because you want to run, and god, there's nowhere to _go_. You're trapped, and you have to deal with this.

"You…" He does not know what to say. "I… How… Why…"

You cannot answer. This was not supposed to have been. You begin to back away, relinquishing his hands from where they still lay on your chest.

Yugi panics. "Wait! Mou h…" He stumbles forward, trips over his feet, stops abruptly when you stop unexpectedly, and causing him to fall against you. You catch his arms just above his elbows to balance him. His forehead connects with yours and briefly, so briefly, his lips ghost over yours.

Shock envelops both of you. Frozen into stillness, you stare at and through each other. His eyes focus into yours and his fingers curl into the material of your shirt. Both of you tremble ever so slightly. You can feel his warm, heated breath caress your lips and nose, count every fleck in his purplish blue eyes. Every inch of his body is pressed against your own. But these are not what frighten you. It's he isn't moving away, that he isn't laughing this off, or pretending confusion. He knows what this is. He _wants_ to know that this is what he knows this is.

And it is… and you need to do something right now. You're standing on a precipice way beyond where the ground can't be seen and it's jump time. Your hands, almost as if possessed, raise and cup Yugi's face between your palms. Your heart cannot silence itself tonight. Yugi's eyes lower to half-mast and he leans in.

It surprises both of you the ferocity in which you cover his mouth with your own. He falls further into you and clings almost helplessly to you as your ravenous tongue slips past his quietly willing lips. You moan at the slick heat of him and press forward, both with your mouth and your link. The floodgates open and every emotion held in check plunges into the fray. Yugi whimpers against your onslaught, bracing against your tides, before meeting you with a savagery equal to your own. He pulls and yanks at your body, your clothes, newborn desire rapidly overcoming his hesitancy, his sense of propriety. His head rocks back as you make love to his neck and shoulders with your mouth. He moans, begs, and pleads, without sound, without words.

Your minds and souls push at each other, frantically trying to merge in a way they have not managed to before. There isn't just a need to connect anymore there is a need to be the same, to be one, to be indistinguishable from one another. Light wants to become dark, and dark wants to become light. _Show me your world, show me _you_ and show me _me_. _

Yugi is unable to reign in himself anymore and he moans and moans like he's dying of pleasure. They rise and fall, becoming more frequent, harsh, needier, and you can't stop drawing them out of him, you can't stop taking, and taking, and taking. His inhibitions have been obliterated, his walls are gone, and he's shamelessly seizing you everywhere he can touch, in mind, in body, in soul. It's almost invasive, the way he treats your link, and your body, and you let him because you love it. When you think to dominate, he concedes. His grip on your hair and your grip on his stirs and you become nearly mindless with need.

Yugi senses this loss of control and gently reaches to steady you. You let him guide you and are grateful for the surrender. You shake and cry and don't care. He cries too, yet, the gentle glow of joy that surrounds you, that light you envy him so much, for the first time you _become_ it, you feel it as an embodiment, and not a mere envelopment.

"Oh aibou…" you whisper in awe.

As with all storms, this one eventually breaks, gently rolling like thunder before the crashes between thunder and lightning separate into two completely different beings again. Yugi's arms are around you, and out in the real world, your spirit is twined around his real body. He is soaked with sweat, and the evidence of the encounter is on his body, but he is smiling in a sort of sleepy, dopey way that you cannot help but return. You notice he no longer looks sick. Tired, yes, but the heavy weight of his illness has been lifted.

This was probably the worst mistake either of you has made. One day you will have to hurt each other and you both will have to live with that in each his own separate, desperately cold and alone ways. But even knowing this, you do not unwish the moment, or the deed. More importantly, neither does he. You now know he knows what this might mean for the future – and he accepts it… because that was a part of it.

You touch his cheek and gently ghost your mouth and lips next to the shell of his ear. You tell him what you both need to know. More tears slip unbidden down his cheeks but he nods, and understands, because he can… because he does. And he says what you need to know.

One day you will have to leave his soul… and one day he will return to you. If death couldn't keep you from him, then death can only bring him back to you.

And knowing this, you realize you are no longer afraid.


	3. Forever Is A Day in Your Arms

**Forever Is A Day in Your Arms**

You once heard someone say, though you would be lying if you said you knew who had said it, that sex complicates relationships. You remember dismissing the advice from your conscious mind rightly assuming the very moment that it passes you it is one issue you will never have to deal with. Not personally at any rate. With no physical body of your own to do as you please with (as the one you share came with a set of preestablished, undisclosed but mostly honored 'ground rules'), you assume you would be dispensing advice, if you were sought after at all for it. Never do you dream you would be – that _both_ of you – would be put in this position.

There begs the question, of course, if what you are both doing can even be called sex in the conventional sense. Neither of you can actually _physically_ touch one another; not in the tactile person-to-person sense, though it is something you have always ached for. It seems silly to want that… You both already connect on so many other levels that most people cannot connect on. You can meld minds together, spirits together, and those moments where you cannot tell where he leaves off and you begin are orgasmic in them of themselves. Sometimes when both of you have done nothing more than commune together as one, Yugi's body reacts the same way as if both of you had been doing much more than simply trying to blend each other's feelings together. You tease him, gently, about it, "That is quite the compliment, aibou!" just to see him blush and give you that little smile he's only ever given you. When he says, "You're welcome?" it sends you both laughing.

Only Yugi can make you laugh when you're alone together. Even when he's still confined to his room after coming home from the hospital (no school for another week, doctor's orders), he cracks wise about everything and nothing, and you swear if you had the breath to breathe with, you'd have been dead from laughing so hard long ago. He does it just to make you laugh – nothing lights those eyes up the way they do when you start chuckling over some inane remark he's made over a Duel Monster card. Goodness knows he puts up with _your_ snark when you're amongst your friends. They think he smiles like he does because that's just his personality… it's actually his way of trying not to laugh his ass off because you've made some wayward remark about the amount of skin Anzu is showing today. Or when the hell was Jounouchi going to discover the fascinating properties of proper hair care, seriously, look at that mess! There have been times Yugi can no longer hold it in behind a simple smile. Once he started laughing so hard at something you'd muttered his friends were concerned he'd suddenly lost his mind.

The question of what both of you had done in the hospital comes up a few days later. You've taken to lying beside Yugi in bed, one arm draped over his waist, often with his back pressed up against your chest. You like it… you like being able to surround Yugi with your presence, and feel his warmth relax into you. You like that you can smell his hair, the only scent you can smell when you're in spirit form, and you take it in with heady satisfaction. Maybe you are already in the afterlife, you think then, because you cannot imagine there being a greater bliss than this.

Yugi elbows you gently. "I heard that."

You chuckle. "I wasn't exactly keeping it from you."

Yugi blushes. You can't see it, but you know he is. "Mou hitori no boku?" he begins hesitantly, turning over to face you, touching your arm when you move it to keep it where it is. "I've been thinking… about… you know. I…" He trails off, looks away uncertainly, his blush growing to his neck as you smile and trace his cheek with a single finger. After a moment, he raises his eyes to yours again. "I'm a little confused. About it."

You stop your caress. "What confuses you, aibou?" you ask softly.

"It's just… we never actually… I mean, it, you know, happened in here," he touches the Puzzle lying on the bed between yourselves. "I mean, we're both spirits when we're in the Puzzle, right? Spirits can't have sex, right?"

"How many spirits have you met?" you ask quietly, lightly running your fingertips up and down his arm, tracing here and there.

Yugi smiles. "Just you, so far. What… What do you think?"

You smile back. "I think you're overcomplicating the matter. Your body and your mind were telling you what it was you were feeling."

Yugi's blush is probably taking over his entire body now. You bottle the urge to check to see if that is actually true. "What," he struggles to keep looking you in the eye, "do you think we did?"

You lay your hand fully on his cheek, and he smiles, and thinks for a fleeting moment how wonderful you are simply because you make him feel so much with one touch. "We made love, aibou. No, it was not the way you would have expected, with whom you thought it would happen with, but what we did was no different than what making love implies. We are already connected mind, body, and soul."

"But," Yugi starts and stops, and starts again, "why was it different from all the other times we connected?"

"You know the answer," you whisper close to his ear, because he loves it when you speak so softly, so intimately, and because you cannot keep yourself from being so close to him. Your voice reaches him deep inside and he quietly lets out a light shudder. Without opening his eyes he leans forward and kisses you, and sighs again when you both part again. He moves your hand below his waist and murmurs, "Touch me."

You do and as he squirms under your ministrations, he blindly reaches for you. He wants to return the favor. You catch his hand, and gently chide against his parted lips, "It's okay, you don't need to do that. This is for you."

Yugi accepts that, if only because he cannot speak or think right now when you are touching him like this. No one is home right now, and you tell him so. Then you say something to him that prompts the response you desire from him. "Let go. Let me hear your voice, Yugi."

He does, and it's beautiful. You link your minds so you can feel his pleasure with him, and he happily reaches back, and touches you with his mind. His coughs start to increase, unfortunately, so by the time he reaches his end, you both silently agree that is enough until he's fully recovered from his illness. But he is smiling again, and wiping tears from his face, quickly and discreetly. He hates that he cries when he climaxes though you chide him not to be ashamed of it. He's a little miffed by this assertion. "Would you like it if I made _you_ cry?" he mutters moodily.

"Aibou, I would love it if you made me cry."

He sits up and stares down at you, unblinking. "Really?" he breathes.

You cross your arms behind your head, keeping that lazy smirk of yours in place. After a moment, you sit up and scoot behind Yugi, and gently, lightly, nuzzle the shell of his ear, brushing your lips against it now and again. Yugi leans against you and revels in your light touch, eyes drifting shut softly, as you close your eyes.

"Is this wrong?" Yugi murmurs, almost dazed.

"It doesn't feel wrong," you murmur back, too caught up in the drug-like sensation of being so close to him.

"No." Yugi tilts his head back and you press your mouth against his for a deep kiss. It is not meant to arouse or excite, and neither of you wants to push it any further. It is better sometimes that a kiss just be a kiss, the simple aching beauty of it almost overwhelms both of you. Parting slowly, slowly, Yugi sighs. "Can I love you?" he whispers.

"If I can love you."

He smiles again, that smile that reminds you that you are lost to him, lost forever, no matter if you are here on earth, or living in the Field of Reeds.


	4. Hello Darkness My Old Friend

**Hello Darkness My Old Friend**

From the first, you know that Yugi and yourself are not like other couples. It's not the fact you happen to share a body and a mind, although those certainly are major differences. It's not even the fact most of your intimate activities take place in the secret corridors of your mind and his. It's the fact you both happen to perfectly harmonize with one another in every way shape and form and you still manage to keep the fact that this will end someday out of every conversation you have. Every relationship has an expiration date, but the both of you have the horrible knowledge of knowing when that will probably happen, unlike other couples' who don't know where they are going to be from one day to another. Till death till you part? One of you is already dead, yet that has not stopped either of you from remaining together. No. It's not the fact that you are _dead_ is what will part you from Yugi. It's the fact he is _alive_ is what will part you from Yugi.

If life were fair, you would have truly died 3000 years ago. If life were fair, you would have found your paradise among whomever you had known in whatever life you had lived before you died and wound up inside a small gold pyramid on a chain. But… you reconsider, life must have a sense of humor too, because it let you have someone like Yugi to share in everything you are. The boy's capacity for love is boundless, and that he would choose to give it all to you, every drop of it, amazes you. Yugi looks at you and sees an oasis in a desert, he sees home, and he doesn't care that it's only a mirage, and once he sees it for the illusion it really is, that it will break his heart.

He's been without before you came into his life. He may not like it, but he'll move on with his life, because deep down in places he may not verbally acknowledge, Yugi knows he's strong enough to live without you. He's a whole person because of you. He can stand on his own. He also knows, because he's seen it, he's felt it, that despite your bluster, your confidence, and your posturing, _you_ are not a whole person without _him_. Even if and when you get your memories back, both of you know you're not complete without him. The day you enter the afterlife without him is going to be the hardest thing you'll ever have to do – and there's nothing neither Yugi nor you can do it about it. You share this burden of your future parting silently. It's the only way either of you can bear it.

In the sanctity of Yugi's soul room, neither of you allows the future to ruin the bliss of the present. How can it with Yugi spread so beautifully beneath your gaze? With his tired yet happy smile as he gazes back up at you and traces the lines and angles of your face? Yugi's whispered endearments wash over you like a warm wave and you cannot help gently giving his nose an Eskimo kiss, murmuring a rakish reply, drawing out giggles and half-hearted slaps to your ribs from him. You smile seductively and duck your head down to proceed to drive him out of his mind. This is how it always is between the both of you. You cannot allow Yugi to indulge you until you are certain he has been taken care of. It's the only way you are able to enjoy his reciprocation.

And boy, can Yugi reciprocate! Anyone mistaking Yugi for a submissive cowering sort has no idea what he or she is writing off. Not even Yugi's friends know the full breadth and width of this young man's personality. Yugi is as thorough as yourself when it comes to the exchange of sexual pleasure, but the little guy has a more colorful education of sex than yourself, and eagerly implements what he learns upon your encounters with gusto. Yugi may moan and weep enough to make the banshees in hell jealous but Yugi… Yugi makes you _scream_. What words you can get in edgewise are pleas to go harder and faster and passionate unending cries of "YES! OH YES!"

You vocalize because Yugi loves your voice; mostly you cry out because it really _does_ feel that good being with him. You love showing him how much he pleases you. Tonight his efforts have you end in tears of pure joy. Yugi hovers over you, sweaty, smiling that dopey smile of his, and just admiring your own sweaty form with impish relish as you just lay there and sob.

"Why," you sigh when you are able to get a hold of yourself, "why can't I make you feel what you make me feel?"

Yugi frowns, rolls to lie beside you, and laces your fingers together. He kisses the back of your hand and then the center of your palm with obvious pleasure. "You can. You do."

"But… like this…"

Yugi snickers and kisses your chin, then your face, your temple, then back to your lips. He's very kissy tonight – not that you're complaining. "We just have different ways of showing it, mou hitori no boku." He then smiles again. "I'd certainly love to stop biting my lip all of the time but unfortunately if _I_ were to scream, my mother would hear me."

"Your mother can't hear me?"

"No. It's easier for you to let go because I can keep you separated from me when we make love." He smiles again sheepishly, a silly bright smile. "Unfortunately I can't do the same thing for myself."

You catch and return his last kiss halfway through as he pulls away. He leans forward into it eagerly. Both you lie there and make out for a little while, before you both have to come up for air.

"If that is such a problem, aibou, I can certainly fix it." You let the devil inhabit your smirk this time. "It'll lessen my ability to enjoy the experience completely but I think the results will outweigh any personal inconvenience to myself."

Yugi stares at you, still breathing hard from the prolonged kissing. "You… You want it that much?"

"Yugi, in case you haven't noticed already, I love your voice as much as you claim to love mine." You level a look at him. "I think it is hardly equality between us if you get to enjoy how much you please me but I cannot enjoy how much I please you."

Yugi rolls his eyes. "Everything is a game with you."

You chuckle. "In case you haven't noticed, aibou, you are _my_ game, and I intend to play you," you lean over him, leaning into his face, looking deeply into his eyes, whispering, "until my turn ends."


	5. Burning the Length and Breadth of Sky

**Burning the Length and Breadth of Sky**

The first game you lose is the most important game of all. Perhaps it shouldn't have surprised you so much when you reached for that dark power and played the Orichaclos, that losing big, and losing when so much more rode on winning the game, was already a habit of yours you played to perfection. When _you_ lose, someone usually dies. When _you_ lose, more than your pride takes a beating. When _you_ lose, it's the happiness of those around you you destroy. So when _you_ play, you _have_ to play to win. The balance of the universe has always hung on the turn of a card from your hand. You sometimes think that once being thought a living god was not too far from the truth.

But this time... this time the game you lose will _save_ lives. You won't have to worry about anyone's happiness being destroyed, because your not being around will ensure that the darkness will never get that chance. You know now because you finally know who you are now. You're not the other side of the boy that is Yugi Mutou. You are the pharaoh Atem. You had a family, and you know their names and their faces now. You had your own friends. You had your own life where _your_ face was _yours_ and no one had to pretend you were someone else. You didn't have to pretend you were someone else. And you were _alive_.

After you regain your memories, you feel fevered, rushed. Now that you have to go and can _finally_ go, you can't _wait_ to go. There are people on the other side waiting for you and you can't wait to see them again and be with them. Suddenly the walls of that damn Puzzle are suffocating you. You always knew you never belonged in there, and to now know you are not, and never were, some dark specter of games and shadow, you feel a freeing sense of vindication. You died for the world and for millennia the world has owed you a restful hereafter. The Ceremonial Duel seems to be the least it could do after you sacrificed your own eternity the first time around.

Yugi shifts his head from where he has laid it on your bare chest, bringing it closer to your shoulder so the enormous mass of his hair isn't in your face. His eyes are open and staring into the distance. You stare at the ceiling above, through the skylight, to the moon. You can feel the slight tickle of his fingertips as they trace your skin, grazing in places, catching, skipping over your ribcage. Neither of you has spoken. Neither by mind link, nor by word of mouth. Yugi's thoughts and feelings are as closed off and remote to you as yours are to him. You caress his neck, trace between his small shoulders, down to the small of his back, then up again. Yugi's breathing shortens, shudders, and hitches. You shift and move as he pulls from your arms and instead brings his legs up to hug them against his body. He hides his face in his knees. You sit up and watch him stoically. You do not speak and you do not touch. Your eyes linger on his small form and then somewhere in the space hanging over his head. You close your eyes as the soft sighs of his sobs reach you.

Yugi sniffs and finally turns toward you. His face is a mess of tears and he looks absolutely miserable. He palms the tears away, takes a short little breath which he releases with a light huff, punctuated by a sniffle. He seems to read something in your eyes and just nods, smiling briefly, a ghost of a touch upon his bright, round face. You pull closer, and sit just behind him, lightly resting your cheek on his temple. He leans back into your touch, head back, eyes closing. Your fingers dance and graze his shoulders, run gently up and down his arms. You kiss his temple, the side of his face, his neck. His violet eyes open and he tilts his head back to meet your eyes.

"Mou hitori no boku?"

You smile at him tenderly. "Hm?" Your hands never stop.

Yugi's eyes lower a fraction, uncertain, afraid, before he stills. "I know what I saw in your memories but…" he trails off. "It wasn't everything… was it?"

"No, aibou," you murmur. "It was not."

Yugi opens his mouth, closes it, and then opens it again. Finally he clamps down on his lower lip. "Mou hitori no boku…" He repeats, turning in your arms so the both of you can look each other fully in the face. "Mou…" He is silenced by a single finger to his lips.

"Ask your question, love."

Yugi takes another, quicker breath, and then plunges ahead. "Was there… someone before me?" He begins to tremble. "It's okay," he continues on more quickly, "I won't be jealous, I-I just, I want to know, is all, it's okay, you don't have to te-" The rest is lost in your mouth as you pull him up into you, delving into his sweet depths until he moans. He moans your name, your _real_ name, and then _you_ moan, before flipping him beneath you. He opens himself to you and for a little while you grant his unspoken desire to feel nothing but pain and pleasure until he cries out against your chest.

You fall together against the sheets, face to face, barely able to breathe, barely knowing who is alive or dead anymore. Yugi presses desperate kisses to your face, eyes, and mouth. "I don't need to know," he says over and over again in a hopeless mantra. "I don't, I _don't_…"

"Yugi." He stops and stares, wide eyed. "There wasn't." You kiss his lips once, before adding, "You are the only one. You only have ever been the only one." You rest your hand against his cheek and tilt his chin up so he can look nowhere but at you. "No matter where I will be one month from now, I want you to always remember that."

Yugi's eyes fill with tears. "I will… and the same."

"No."

He trembles. "What?" he whispers, dismayed.

You pull him close to your body so you can feel his warmth and his heartbeat. "I am dead, aibou." You go on, even as he starts to sob. "I will not have you make that sacrifice. Promise me you will not close your heart to another for my sake. I could not bear you forsaking your happiness for the sake of remaining loyal to my memory."

"I-I promise. I mean… I'll-I'll try. Oh _god_, Atem…"

You pull away to kiss his forehead. It does little to comfort him but it does draw a brave smile from him and that is all that you can ask for.

Suddenly he reaches and grasps your hand, interlocks your fingers together. His own gaze is resolute, shaky, but the strength is there. "But _you_ have to wait for me. I'm sorry, I just…" You can tell making such a selfish request crushes him, yet he makes it, because if anyone understands, will understand, it's you. "I need you to. Please. It's… It's not fair to you but I…"

"Aibou." You smile with your whole heart. "I waited three thousand years for you… I would wait another if I had to in order to be with you again."

Yugi sniffles, tries to cry, and winds up doing that and laughing at the same time, so hard he has to hug his sides. You poke the center of his forehead affectionately before seizing him into a teary but happy embrace.


	6. The Sweet Intoxication of the Fall

**The Sweet Intoxication of the Fall**

It is strange, as you step over the threshold toward the welcoming light, that as you do so, you don't think of what lies ahead of you, or even what you're leaving behind. You're not afraid – you've reconciled yourself for facing this moment long before – nor are you even happy in the broadest sense of the term. You feel relief, sadness for sure, and definitely some measure of anticipation.

'_And she's buying a stairway to heaven…'_ A smile flits across your lips. Imagine how honored the band that wrote that song might have been if they'd known that lyric is the last coherent thought you have in the earthly realm before... before…

This is usually where the story stops, where the scene in the book ends as the character leaves this life for the next. The writer doesn't know what lies ahead so he or she dares not speculate or belabor the point further. After all, the story of that character has ended, and no one need know what lies ahead for him in the next course of his existence. For you know better than most no one does ever stop existing, not even after death.

It's odd you should think yourself dead now, _truly_ dead, as you've never felt dead, not once in the entire existence of yourself. Until it truly hits you as you are encompassed by light – sweet light – and you realize, for the first time, for all those times you told Yugi you were dead, part of you couldn't grasp the truth of it yourself.

Until now.

The revelation is staggering. You shield your eyes to the intoxicating embrace of the in between and feel fear for the first time. You freeze, unable to move forward, or backward, or at all, and you suddenly are filled with sudden intense sorrow, you don't know what to do.

A hand pierces the light. The face ahead of you is familiar, loving, and you smile, and grasp the hand, allowing it to pull you forward. Then… Then…

You are standing on a hilltop and the land is spread below you. At first you think you're looking across the sands of the Egypt you called home, until you realize it's not one country you're seeing, but the whole _world_, its oceans, deserts, forests, and plains, and cities… and when you gaze into the sky above you see _everything_. Stars, planets, supernovas, things you cannot explain, or understand, or know, because you have to be a spirit to see this, you have to be _gone_, and you… you… oh god, you…

It's overwhelming. You cannot possibly grasp of it all at once. You gasp for air you cannot breathe, and the heart you no longer have crawls into your throat, and then you just _want_… And what you want in the presence of the entire universe, what you yearn for, is both what you expect, and do not, because you imagined it would have been something like this in the back of your mind.

Tears run from your eyes and you sink to your knees as you close them shut tightly. You regret nothing, and everything, you rage and you rejoice, and you end by laughing, as you have never laughed before. The scale balances and then you feel a heavy weight lift from within. The feather and your heart are equals and you feel lighter than you ever did before. You've passed, yet you do not know why, as light as you feel, a heavier thread entwines you to that which has been left behind. And it's okay. For some reason, you are being told it's okay, because we all feel this way, and it isn't an evil thing.

_Go on. They wait for you. _

You do. They _are_ waiting for you.

Every day in the Field of Reeds is beautiful. You see the others, your father, your mother, your cousin, and your friends. They are happy, and you are happy, as the Western Land is all you have expected, and all that you desire. You meet those you never knew, and those you have yet to know. The afterlife is no one heaven or hell, it is what you expect it to be, as your heart leads you to. Darkness only conquers those unwilling or who are afraid of the light… and as you died in love with the light, it is the only place you can be.

Or you think. Sitting here in a boat on the Nile that seems to run even in the world beyond, the lazy waters reflecting the image of you as you know of yourself back at you, you feel a strange lack of being. You find your heart is wild and untamed, and you are a horrified to find a deep chasm within.

"Yugi…" The name leaves you without your permission and you withdraw your fingers from the river you caress. What time has passed, you do not know, but you would give to know the hour of the day. It cannot be soon enough, for your pain is still new, and the hole in your heart is still fresh. You cradle your head in your arms and weep. The yearnings of your twisted soul will not be eased, for you are but one in a universe of countless others.

You can still feel him. His distant thrum connects to you thread-like only so you know that he still dwells in the world you left behind. It is a paltry connection at best, the only one you have. He will come to you, he has only to tug, and you will be at his side to lead him here. Your love for him has proven to transcend death, and you will honor his one wish to wait for him. And as you can see all from where you dwell in the warmth and comfort of eternity, you choose then to turn your eyes to the mortal world. For as long as Yugi lives, you will not begin another existence. It would require you to forget Yugi and the existence you shared with him, require forgetting Yugi as the name you know him by, forgetting the face and the eyes and the body you love so dearly. You always want to be Atem, you always want to remember being his mou hitori no boku. No rebirth can entice you to forget the bliss of that earthbound heaven that had been Yugi/Atem. For nowhere else in eternity exists a place like the one you shared in the space between your soul and Yugi's.

No. To return would mean the sacrifice of two lifetimes, and you cannot forsake them for another. Despite the yearnings of your heart that are so intense you nearly wish you had never known this sort of love, you desire nothing less than this sweet torture and the exquisite pain that comes with it.


	7. Forever Is All I Want

**Forever is All I Want**

It's time.

You tremble as your hand tentatively rises in response to the light, insistent, longed-for tug. For the first time in what has felt like ages, you feel the foreign yet familiar sharp taste of fear, because while you have _literally existed for this moment_, some part of you has difficulty believing it's happening. Doubt besieges you, swamping your courage, and then…

His voice… and it's the voice only you know anymore, have memorized the nuances down to the very lilt and timber...

Your fear subsides. It's replaced by another familiar, far more welcoming, emotion: resolve, fiery, untamed, determined. You promised. You promised and now…

Now you're keeping that promise.

Grasping the thread, you let it pull you, at first cautiously, before a sudden violent thrust forward sends you spinning into… what… where… light… dark… and then…

You're there. You don't understand why you know, or how you know, but the second you feel the heat upon your body, you just _know_. You open your eyes and for a moment, you are overwhelmed by the sensation of being almost literally brought to life by sunlight. Your mouth opens slightly and you close your eyes again, because within the sun there is pleasure, and warmth. It fills you and you… you smile.

Gradually your eyes open and you take stock of your surroundings. The sunlight is pouring through a large window, flooding the room you are standing in. You slowly turn and are surprised to see a small child sitting at a small table with a coloring book. You don't recognize the child, yet at the same time, he's very familiar to you. His large violet eyes meet yours, and he smiles sweetly, not at all startled by your appearance, before he goes back to his crayons. You lift your gaze beyond him and finally you figure out where you are.

Across the room you can see there is a bed and in that bed is the withered form of an old man. There is an oxygen mask on his pale, wrinkled face, and an IV drip trailing from his nearly skeletal arm. You don't recognize him either, not from his looks, but by the strength and taste of his soul, you know who it is. You know.

You trick gazes with the small boy again, a boy that can't be more than three years old. You smile at him and he smiles back again. This time he speaks.

"You're here for my grandpa, huh?"

You nod.

The boy beams again. "It's you, isn't it? You're him, right?"

You have a vague idea of what he's talking about and something tells you the 'him' he's talking about is you. You reach out and touch the top of the boy's head, carding your fingers through his sunny hair as you pass him on the way to the old man's bedside. His head turns and his gaze follows you, watching silently.

There is another person at the man's beside, a young man in his late twenties that resembles the one you have come for so closely, you have to stop for a moment, shocked. He's leaning forward quietly in his chair, his forehead resting on his folded hands. His expression is full of sadness, resigned. His father is dying and there is nothing he can do about it.

Suddenly the old man opens his eyes. Though the body is a mere husk now, the eyes are the same and unburdened by the demands of old age. You stand on the opposite side of the bed and reach for the withered hand lying atop the bedcovers and slide your fingers through his. The young man on the other side of the bed cannot see you. But the old man does, as those beloved eyes settle on you, and very slightly, a small smile stretches his lips. Very slowly he turns his head to the young man, who has noticed his elderly father's consciousness. The young man takes his other hand between both of his own. "Dad?" he begins tentatively.

"I love you, son."

The son bites his bottom lip for a moment before replying, softly. "I love you too, Dad."

Yugi smiles at his son one last time before his eyes close, forever. The son kisses the back of his father's hand before silently bending his head and weeping. The little boy gets up from his coloring and runs over to his father to comfort him. "It's okay, Daddy, it's okay," he's saying as his father pulls him into his lap and holds him close.

You release the hand and step away from the bed, closing your own eyes to the grief before you. They open again, startled, when you feel a hand slip into the one lying limp at your side. Looking sharply to your left, Yugi is standing beside you. Yugi, as you remember him, Yugi as he will always be in your eyes.

He does not look at you. Not at first. He watches his son and grandson comfort one another, before letting his eyes rest upon his own body one last time. Finally he turns to you and reaches for your other hand. You cannot look away from his smiling, youthful face, his shining eyes, his… everything.

"You came."

You reach up and caress his cheek, run your thumb over his lips. "I always would have come for you, my aibou."

Yugi throws his arms around you and plants a full-hearted kiss upon your mouth. You embrace him close as the light from the window fills the room, encapsulating all, until it gently dies down. As you pull away from one another, you realize you are both ankle-deep in clear water. Reeds surround the both of you, swaying gently in the breeze as a beautiful sunset burns bright red, orange, and gold. Yugi gazes around, his arms still around your neck, before returning to your eyes.

"Is this…?"

"Yes."

Yugi reaches for your face and holds it between his hands. You lean in so both of your foreheads are touching. "I love you so much," he whispers heart wrenchingly. "Always have. No one could take your place. No one ever can."

You kiss him again. "No one will have to."

"Good." He leans in close to your face. "Promise me forever, mou hitori no boku."

"I promise you forever, aibou," you murmur against his lips. "Forever is all I can give you now."

He laughs a pure, joyful sound that fills both of you. "Forever is all I want."


End file.
